Our personal values are our guiding principles and representwhat we deem important in our lives. We all have core values whether we’re aware of them or not, but it’s very useful to know what they are. Our values guide how we behave, and they guide the choices we make. Sometimes, it’s clear which value guides our actions but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes, there’s a secondary value that sits behind our actions – our shadow value. Our shadow values are the ones we hide from the world due to some level of shame or guilt. However, they are usually even more powerful than our apparent values. Examples include control, importance and superiority. When we think about values, it’s important to realize that human beings have a golden self and a  shadow self. The golden self is the part of you that has all the love and all the “nice” traits and the things that you want people to think about you.

 

And the shadow self is the part of you that you hide from others. It's important that we’re willing to be absolutely honest with ourselves, when trying to identify our shadow values and to have the courage to admit why we truly want something. It’s easy to be ashamed or guilty for having a desire for being important or for wanting to be in control, for instance. However, this will not help you achieve your goals. Our shadow values are very real, no matter how much we try to ignore them. We’re better off owning up to these deep values and admitting to ourselves what we truly want, so that we can align these values with our goals. For every action we take, we get a feeling. All actions we take will give us a feeling that is associated with one of our apparent values. The reverse then also becomes true: We want a certain feeling and that is what drives our actions. Therefore, the ultimate way to get to your goal, is to link it to your values. If you are able to link this goal to your shadow values in particular, you will find it extremely easy to achieve it. If you are inspired to do something, then chances are the task you are doing aligns with your shadow values. Reversely, if you’re not really taking action on your goals, it might be because your goal is not aligned to your values. We are a feeling-oriented species after all. Contact me if you would like to find out more about identifying your shadow values. (Benjamin Harvey, Authentic Education.)